fbhjr

20 years now.
It's much, much better than it got in the first few years after.
We've got things to look forward to.
We're doing OK.
That radioactive, smoking, crater of what was our life is now well behind us.
The scars are what's important. It's the fact I'm here to have them.
But, I'm still sad...

https://fbhjr.dreamwidth.org/702907.html

My wife's uncle died this morning. The one we took to Ireland for the 10th anniversary of my mother in law passing. (https://fbhjr.dreamwidth.org/1310021.html )
The same one we learned last week had liver cancer. But, a heart attack was quicker.
He'd had heath problems for years. But, this was still unexpectedly sudden.
And, very sad.

My sister has died.
I got the call from the county office where she lived while at my cousin’s funeral yesterday.
From what I can tell, they found her body in her apartment some time in October.
They couldn’t find any contacts, so the county had her cremated and her remains sent to the county office.
I’m told the landlord was supposed to contact whoever was on her lease as an emergency contact, but I certainly didn’t hear anything and when I called my mother and brother to tell them, they seemed surprised.

And, if the landlord found her when looking for the rent, it seems like no one noticed her missing and went looking for her.

When my cousin died last week, I sent a postcard to let me sister know (as I didn’t think she’d open a letter) and had my phone number on it.
So, that got to the county office and they called.
But, they called while I was at my cousin’s funeral so my phone was off. When I got the voice mail from the county asking me to call, I was sure of what it would be.
I was after the office hours, so some sheriffs deputy answered and told me wha they could.

Today I should get a call from the office workers so I can pay for the cremation and probably have her remains shipped to me.

My relationship with my sister was strained, even if growing up she was totally my hero who introduced me to so many things I still like in my life.
I wrote about it 10 years ago. Nothing about this story changed until yesterday, which is covered above.
https://fbhjr.livejournal.com/593948.html or https://fbhjr.dreamwidth.org/593002.html

I just learned that a professor I liked has passed away: https://www.telegram.com/obituaries/pneo0225834?fbclid=IwAR3yfAQkqqf7ZB6mFBkCtRW4hAUsWh3b6YUBhy22aszLvrC4jJCjSuC6wuc

It was a bit of a complicated relationship I had with him as I very much enjoyed his “history of science” class, but did not pass.
The class required 7 books, and at the time I could only afford the first 3.
So, I did poorly in the tests and failed the class.

He called me to this office after the semester was over and asked how someone who seemed so interested in class could do so poorly.
I explained about being able to afford less than half the books.

“Why didn’t you ask me? I’d have loaned them to you,” he asked.
“I had no idea that would be true,” I replied. “I thought it more likely I’d be told that it was too bad for me. The library doesn’t have them and no one else I know is taking the class.”
“I wish you had asked.”
“I wish you had told the class help was available.”

Despite not passing, I had still enjoyed his class and still thought of him as one of my favorite professors.
I am sad to see he passed.

Sadly, my friend's passing was confirmed.
I am very sad.