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fbhjrAs I find out more information about my sister’s death I’m working on tracking things down.
This is for my benefit, so no worries if anyone doesn’t read it.
There might be changes when I get the official report, but this is what I understand as of now..
Presumably early September:
My sister pays her rent for the last time. No one I’ve spoken with is aware of anything she does after this point.
Sometime in September:
My sister dies. When is not clear, but before October rent was due.
October 1st:
My sister does not pay rent.
October 27th:
My sister’s landlord, concerned that rent hasn’t been paid for the month and my sister isn’t answering her door calls the sheriff’s department.
The sheriff finds “the worst case of hording” he has ever seen in the apartment. It takes him 20 minutes to climb through it to my sister to find her dead. He says it is clear she passed some time before this, but October 27th will be the official date as there is no way to know when it might have happened.
He calls for help removing her from the over crowded apartment.
Help does not come as an Italian restaurant nearby has burst into flame at this point, causing all emergency responders in the area to go there instead.
It takes him 2 hours to clear a path to the door so he can carry my sister’s remains out by himself.
Late October:
Without knowing a family contact, the coroner’s office has my sister’s body cremated and keeps the remains there. There is no autopsy or toxicology testing as it was clear she died of natural causes.
The city of Rockford condemns what had been my sister’s apartment due to the state it is in.
December 6th:
I get word my cousin Katie has died. I write a post card to my sister telling her this with my phone number and email, as I did in all correspondences I sent her. My wife mails it for me on her way to an appointment.
December 13th:
My sister’s former landlord gets the card I sent my sister, as there has been no where to forward any mail, and gives my phone number on it to the coroner’s office.
The coroner’s office calls me to give me the news. As I’m at my cousin’s funeral with my phone off, they leave a message asking me to call them. Knowing no reason the county my sister lived in would call me other than her death, I realize what the message is as soon as I see it on my phone.
I call back, but too late to talk to the coroner and leave a message with the night shift confirming my contact information and that I would like to get my sister’s remains sent to me.
They tell me I will need to pay for the cremation that took place two months before and pay the fee to ship the remains.
I agree to this.
I call my brother and mother to let them know.
December 14th:
I call the coroner and talk with the deputy coroner who had originally called me. He tells me he is working on getting the remains shipped to me. Apparently there are regulations to shipping human remains cross country that the coroner is not familiar with. He tells me the head coroner will call me about this directly.
They do not take credit cards and I will need to send them a check for these services.
That evening he calls to apologize for the coroner not calling me and tells me they are working with a funeral home to send the remains. I should expect the coroner to call me the next day.
December 15th:
I get a call from the coroner who sends me the form I need to fill out and the associated fees I must pay. Cremation, shipping and their report on my sister add up to $700.
He also has the sheriff who found her there and has him tell me of how she was found.
They are both very nice about this.
The sheriff’s deputy tells ms how happy he is to know that someone is taking care of my sister as he did his best to treat her remains with dignity, but was afraid that he was the only person who cared.
“You’re doing the right thing to take care of her,” he tells me. “I’m very happy to see that done.”
I can tell he is doing his best not to tell me just how bad my sister’s condition was without lying to me to make me happy.
Knowing my sister, I can guess some of what he’s holding back. If it is enough to shake this deputy who’s been on the force for a few decades, I don’t need to make him say it.
They give me the information on my sister’s former landlady who gave them the method to contact me.
I call and speak with her former landlady who offers to send me anything I’d want from what’s left in her old apartment, apparently still not cleaned out at least in part due to it being condemned.
“I’ll get to it,” I’m told about cleaning it out. It makes me understand why my sister might have lived there. I do NOT offer to go out and help with it.
I tell the landlady I doubt there is anything there worth sending me, but she takes my address anyhow.
I write the check and fill out the form for the coroner and put it in an envelope.
I hand it directly to our Postal delivery person as they walk around our apartment complex. He tells me he’ll make sure it gets where it’s going.
I email the college my sister attended asking if there is some way to post a message in their alumni newsletter in case any of her old college friends are still around 55 years later.
December 16th:
I opt for the $99 on line obituary instead of the $222 print one as it will reach more people, allows photos and costs less.
To do either I must list the funeral home taking care of my sister. Lacking one, I give the Winnebago County Coroner’s office. I email them to let them know that, and they assure me it is OK to do so.
They tell me they’ll mail my sister’s remains once they receive my check and it clears.
This is for my benefit, so no worries if anyone doesn’t read it.
There might be changes when I get the official report, but this is what I understand as of now..
Presumably early September:
My sister pays her rent for the last time. No one I’ve spoken with is aware of anything she does after this point.
Sometime in September:
My sister dies. When is not clear, but before October rent was due.
October 1st:
My sister does not pay rent.
October 27th:
My sister’s landlord, concerned that rent hasn’t been paid for the month and my sister isn’t answering her door calls the sheriff’s department.
The sheriff finds “the worst case of hording” he has ever seen in the apartment. It takes him 20 minutes to climb through it to my sister to find her dead. He says it is clear she passed some time before this, but October 27th will be the official date as there is no way to know when it might have happened.
He calls for help removing her from the over crowded apartment.
Help does not come as an Italian restaurant nearby has burst into flame at this point, causing all emergency responders in the area to go there instead.
It takes him 2 hours to clear a path to the door so he can carry my sister’s remains out by himself.
Late October:
Without knowing a family contact, the coroner’s office has my sister’s body cremated and keeps the remains there. There is no autopsy or toxicology testing as it was clear she died of natural causes.
The city of Rockford condemns what had been my sister’s apartment due to the state it is in.
December 6th:
I get word my cousin Katie has died. I write a post card to my sister telling her this with my phone number and email, as I did in all correspondences I sent her. My wife mails it for me on her way to an appointment.
December 13th:
My sister’s former landlord gets the card I sent my sister, as there has been no where to forward any mail, and gives my phone number on it to the coroner’s office.
The coroner’s office calls me to give me the news. As I’m at my cousin’s funeral with my phone off, they leave a message asking me to call them. Knowing no reason the county my sister lived in would call me other than her death, I realize what the message is as soon as I see it on my phone.
I call back, but too late to talk to the coroner and leave a message with the night shift confirming my contact information and that I would like to get my sister’s remains sent to me.
They tell me I will need to pay for the cremation that took place two months before and pay the fee to ship the remains.
I agree to this.
I call my brother and mother to let them know.
December 14th:
I call the coroner and talk with the deputy coroner who had originally called me. He tells me he is working on getting the remains shipped to me. Apparently there are regulations to shipping human remains cross country that the coroner is not familiar with. He tells me the head coroner will call me about this directly.
They do not take credit cards and I will need to send them a check for these services.
That evening he calls to apologize for the coroner not calling me and tells me they are working with a funeral home to send the remains. I should expect the coroner to call me the next day.
December 15th:
I get a call from the coroner who sends me the form I need to fill out and the associated fees I must pay. Cremation, shipping and their report on my sister add up to $700.
He also has the sheriff who found her there and has him tell me of how she was found.
They are both very nice about this.
The sheriff’s deputy tells ms how happy he is to know that someone is taking care of my sister as he did his best to treat her remains with dignity, but was afraid that he was the only person who cared.
“You’re doing the right thing to take care of her,” he tells me. “I’m very happy to see that done.”
I can tell he is doing his best not to tell me just how bad my sister’s condition was without lying to me to make me happy.
Knowing my sister, I can guess some of what he’s holding back. If it is enough to shake this deputy who’s been on the force for a few decades, I don’t need to make him say it.
They give me the information on my sister’s former landlady who gave them the method to contact me.
I call and speak with her former landlady who offers to send me anything I’d want from what’s left in her old apartment, apparently still not cleaned out at least in part due to it being condemned.
“I’ll get to it,” I’m told about cleaning it out. It makes me understand why my sister might have lived there. I do NOT offer to go out and help with it.
I tell the landlady I doubt there is anything there worth sending me, but she takes my address anyhow.
I write the check and fill out the form for the coroner and put it in an envelope.
I hand it directly to our Postal delivery person as they walk around our apartment complex. He tells me he’ll make sure it gets where it’s going.
I email the college my sister attended asking if there is some way to post a message in their alumni newsletter in case any of her old college friends are still around 55 years later.
December 16th:
I opt for the $99 on line obituary instead of the $222 print one as it will reach more people, allows photos and costs less.
To do either I must list the funeral home taking care of my sister. Lacking one, I give the Winnebago County Coroner’s office. I email them to let them know that, and they assure me it is OK to do so.
They tell me they’ll mail my sister’s remains once they receive my check and it clears.
