19 years ago

[fbhjr]

July 16, 1983 is when I first met my wife.
Less than 3 years after that, I made the decision to marry her.
But, I had promised my parents (OK, my mother) that I would pay them back for college before I got married.
When I made the promise I thought “I’ll be an engineer making a good amount of pay, it won’t take long.”
Yeah. I really did think that.
Of course I also thought I only owed them about $10,000 and my mother thought it was $25,000.
By the end of 1991 we had waited long enough. I started paying my father $350 a week towards the debt while we lived of my (now) wife’s paycheck. (In a roach infested fire trap with a bunch of roommates in a fairly high crime area of the city.)

I knew I’d be paid off by the end of the year. And, if we saved at the same rate we could have enough for the wedding we wanted in less than a year.
There was a little shop on the street where we lived that had a ring my wife liked. But, it was too small. So, at the end of May I talked with the owner about getting a larger version before the 15th of July.
“No problem,” she said. “It’s a standard product. I can get it in a week.”
“I want it July 15th,” I said. “I don’t want it before then, because I don’t want her finding it in our apartment.”
“No problem,” she said. “I’ll order it tomorrow.”
I gave her the money for the order.
Every week my wife liked to stop in that shop and look around. Every week I’d ask “everything OK?” and the shop keeper would say “Yes.”
The week before the anniversary of when we met, she called me aside as my wife was browsing.
“Which ring did you want again?” she asked.
“You haven’t had it this whole time?” I responded.
“I told you it would only take a week. Which one was it?”
I pointed it out to her and stressed my need.

For our anniversary I planned on taking my (now) wife to O’Connor’s, one of our (still) favorite restaurants. We had been going there since it opened and the owner assured me he’d have a good table for us.
When I got home from work that night, I went over to the shop to get the ring.
“UPS didn’t drop it off,” the shop keeper told me. “It will probably be in tomorrow. Or, maybe next Monday.”
I was not happy. But, wasn’t going to buy some other ring just to have one.
I went upstairs.
“It’s OK if my mom comes along too?” my (now) wife asked me. Her mom was sitting in our kitchen smoking a cigaret. It was a phase of our relationship we didn’t get along.
It was still a good dinner. But I didn’t want to ask her to marry me without a ring to give her. We had teased another roommate before that he wasn’t engaged if he didn’t give his girlfriend a ring, and I didn’t want to be in that same boat.
The anniversary of our first party together (which I call our first date) and our first going to the movies together (which she calls our first date) were coming up over the next week. I could use one of those dates to ask.

After dinner, when her mom had driven away, we were sitting there together.
“You look really sad,” she said to me.
I explained what I had planned to do that night.
“You can still ask me,” she said.
“Without a ring?”
“You could give me your pledge with a sword,” she said.
This was long before the sword troupe. All I had was a katana I had gotten from my brother for $20 because my mother didn’t want it in her house anymore. But, it’s what I had and could vaguely count as a family sword since I did get it from a family member.
So, we used that.

It has often been that way. That I’m sad because things didn’t work out like I planned.
And, my wife can find some way to take what we already have and make it wonderful.
For 28 years since I’ve known her she’s been doing that.
And for 19 it has been formalized.
I’m glad she is here and still doing it now.

Comments

[brickhousewench.livejournal.com]

“You could give me your pledge with a sword,” she said.

OK, now *I* totally want to marry your wife!

[cissa.livejournal.com]

That is one of the most wonderful stories EVER. Hugs to you both!