The worst sort of people

[fbhjr]

My grandfather died due to morphine and alcohol.
My father “required” a glass of wine every night when he got home from work.
More then once growing up I had to pick my mother up off of the floor and
get her into bed.
I gave up drinking totally in 1986 because I know that I just can’t stop at
one.  I will keep going until there isn’t any more.  And, if I run out and
someone brings some more by, I’ll pick up and keep going.

There is an addict in my life now and it is causing me a lot of pain.  I
knew this person when they gave up cocaine.  So, I know they’ve beat things
before.  But right now, they’re still trapped in this other addiction.
That’s bad.  The pain it has caused me these last five days goes off the
meter and I can’t describe it.
But, I’ve sat there in the hospital getting stitches with 4 broken teeth
because I drank so much I fell face first on a cement floor.  And, that
isn’t close to the worst.
I have a level of sympathy for the addict.

What I don’t have sympathy for is the very worst kind of person I know.
The person who pours a drink for an alcoholic and says: “It’s OK, go ahead.
I won’t tell anyone and it would really make you happy.”
Or the person who brings someone with a gambling addiction into a casino
and tells them “I’ll give you $10 to play with, so you don’t have to feel
guilty about using your own money.”
They tell themselves and the addict that it is OK and totally ignore the
damage as a result.  That is someone else’s problem.  The addict just
wanted a little fun and to feel better.  Anyone who resents that is the one
who has the problem.

When I gave up drinking I had a “friend” like this.  They went to great
lengths to try and get me to drink again.  To the point of trying to spike
things I was drinking so I’d get started and not even know.

Why?
Because I was “more fun” when I was drinking.  And, this person resented
that they didn’t get as much fun when I was sober.

It turns out that there was someone in my life like this up until Friday.
They weren’t tempting me to fall off the wagon.  They were tempting this
other addict.  They’ve been doing it for three years now.  And, like all
addicts and their helpers, they lied and hid it so they could keep going.

I do not absolve any addict from responsibility.  I’ve gone drinking.  I’ve
known others to snort, shoot up, eat, drink or whatever.  The addicts are
responsible for it.  And, they are the only ones who can stop it.

But, there are no depths of hell deep enough for the people who know
someone is an addict and encourage them in their addiction so that they can
get more fun as a by product.  The word for this I usually use is disgust.
But, that really doesn’t cover the depth of my feelings on this.

Comments

agreed.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

When I gave up drinking I had a “friend” like this. They went to great
lengths to try and get me to drink again. To the point of trying to spike
things I was drinking so I’d get started and not even know. Why? Because I was “more fun” when I was drinking. And, this person resented that they didn’t get as much fun when I was sober.

um, wow. that just sucks. i'm glad you booted these people.

Re: agreed.

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

I've only booted the enabler not the addict.
But I'm very worried about it and very hurt.

Re: agreed.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

i meant your enabler and this other person's enabler. i find it very hard not to enable and be enabled wrt food addiction (since one needs food to some degree to survive), but with sex, drugs, and gambling, my lines are more clear.