Super villains of the world rejoice!

[fbhjr]

Owning a website with the term “swords” in it, I get a lot of email from
overseas sword manufacturers.  They don’t seem to understand that Phoenix
Swords is a performance group, not a reseller.  They are usually in India
or Pakistan.  Given the 60 or so years of war between them, I guess they’re
pretty good at weapons.
I get these letters about once a week.  I usually just delete them.
But, the one I got today really caught my eye!
He gives the usual pitch about the quality of his factory and people, but
then says:

“our all above products who can also make copy any of your special items if
you provide its bio-data”

This guy isn’t selling swords if he needs bio-data.  This guy is making
life forms!
Just think of it!  Why go through the work of cloning your own army of
mutant soldiers when you can just order them and have them shipped to you?
And, no worries about other super villains using knockoffs of your talent:

“we can supply you both quality & quantity on monthly bases, at world best
prices, specially O.E.M orders, & are still interested to work with you on
permanent bases,we mean exclusivly,”
(OK, maybe his world best prices are because he didn’t spend money on a
spell checker.  But, his English is a lot better then my Pakistani.)

I wonder how specific the bio-data has to be.
Could I just tell them “strong as an elephant, fast as a cheetah, loyal as
a dog” and have them make it from that?  That would certainly be much
easier then my having to ship the components to Pakistan.
He does say: “we use best quality raw material which is mostly imported
from reputable foreign manufacturers” so I think I’m safe in expecting him
to go get it himself.

It is clear he expects pictures of the expected final product.
“We hope to receive your full detail, pictures of items you want, so that
exact prices & samples could be sent to you for testing & approval”

Good thing we’ve got the latest photo shop.  That should be able to put
together what I want.

After all, these robot freezers I’m working on are going to be heavy.  I
was thinking I’d have to build them looking like the HK tanks out of
Terminator to get them to move around.  But, if I can have custom designed
bio-weapons to carry them for me?  That will be great!

Comments

[brickhousewench.livejournal.com]

I love the way you think!

[palusbuteo.livejournal.com]

heheh same here

if next I come over to visit and you have a live phoenix and/or Chimera and/or Basilisk and/or Quabbin Dire-Wolf...We'll need to talk.

[blue-micha.livejournal.com]

Tachikoma's!!!
much better then tanks!

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Hee! Excellent.