My time as a superhero

[fbhjr]

As I’ve said before, a lot happened to me in the summer of 1983. Many of the things that went on that summer changed my life permanently.
Of the many things that went on that summer, today I couldn’t get my evening as an avenging superhero out of my head.

This was back when I drank. When I drank, I drank a lot. I drank to to point of being drunk almost ever night.
My grades at this time were not good. I was always right at the edge of being kicked out of school. Several of my friends and drinking buddies had been kicked out.
Ed, the guy who would later piss on me in the night, had been kicked out, but was let back in for summer school in 1983 and lived on campus for the summer.
He hung out at my place a few streets off campus almost every night along with our friend Jack. (Later that summer, Jack would introduce me to my {now} wife.)

One hot summer night we sat around my living room talking about what sort of superhero the city of Worcester would be likely to get.
We decided that it wouldn’t get a superman, batman, iron man or any hero like that.
We figured that the old mill town was more likely to get a rat man then a batman.

I had an early class in the morning, so I kicked them out about 10 and went to bed. It was hot with little air moving and I had trouble getting to sleep.
About midnight, I thought I heard someone moving around in my apartment. I was the only one living there that summer. It wasn’t the best of neighborhoods and most of the apartments were empty for the summer, so there was no reason for folks to be moving around.

I came out of my room and saw someone move. I went for the phone and saw someone on the floor in front of me.

“He made me do it!” Jack shouted. “Don’t kill me! He made me do it!”
“Where is Ed?” I asked him.
“I don’t know! I told him this was a bad idea!”

I went and looked in the other room. Ed was hiding and not well.
“Why did you break into my apartment?” I asked him.
“We were out of booze and figured you had more,” he said. “I got the spare key Dennis had. I didn’t think we’d wake you.”
“Get out,” I said.
“Give us some booze,” he said.
I took the key, threw them out and locked the door.

I had already had trouble getting to sleep. Now, I know it was out of the question. I sat there thinking that I couldn’t just let them break into my apartment and look for alcohol.
“Revenge,” I said to myself about an hour later. “This calls for revenge.”
I worked at a bouncer for security on campus at concerts, dances and other events. So, I knew the campus police knew me. I needed a disguise. And, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
I knew what I had to do.

I grabbed my disguise. I walked down to the Store24 with the disguise in a bag. I bought the other supplies I needed there and headed up to campus.
Outside of the building I put on my Zorro mask, Donald Duck hat and Dracula cape.
I had lived in the dorm where Ed lived. I had no trouble getting in, even without a key.
I went up to Ed’s room where I could hear Jack and Ed still talking about where to get more booze.
I took out my pie plates and cans of whip cream. I filled two of my three pie plates, put the rest in the bag and put it where I could get it quickly.
I picked up a pie plate in each hand, and knocked on the door with my foot.
“Don’t open it, it’s Ratman!” Jack shouted on the other side.
Ed opened the door. I threw the first pie at him. He ducked and it went over his head. It clipped Jack as it went past.
Ed was bent over in front of me, so I swung the second pie up from below at him. I missed his face, but got him square in the chest.
I pushed him back into the room by the pie in his chest, pulled the door closed after me, grabbed my remaining supplies and ran.
It took them a moment to come after me, and I knew the building better then they did. As I went up stairs to Dennis’ room, I heard them searching the patio outside of the building.
I prepared the last pie and knocked on Dennis’ door. It was about 2:30 in the morning at this point.
“Frank, I wanted them to leave me alone,” Dennis said from the other side. “I gave them the key so they would leave my room and I could lock it after them.
”I’m sorry I gave it to them, but I’m not going to open my door so you can do whatever you plan to do for revenge.”
Foiled. He wouldn’t open the door.
I left the pie in front of it in the hopes he would trod on it in the morning.
I went out the back door of the building, went home and fell asleep.
I have never put on a costume to hit people with pies in the middle of the night again.
Daytime, yes. But, that was for a show.

Comments

[brickhousewench.livejournal.com]

Tick quotes FTW!