Frank! You’re dead!

[fbhjr]

A month ago I went to both my doctor and my dentist. My doctor said my blood seemed a bit anemic and I needed to come back in a month to test it again.
My doctor started a crown and told me the permanent one should be in 2-4 weeks later.
“It took 6 months for my wife’s,” I told her.
“It was here in a month,” she said. “But, the insurance hassle took the rest of the time.”
“You let her wait 5 months for paperwork?” I asked.
“The office is like that,” she said. “Once it is in, they worry people won’t pay them.”
“I’ve already paid half up front,” I said. “So, there shouldn’t be too much of a worry with me.”
“Tell you what,” she said. “I’ll make an appointment for you in 1 month. Come in, and if I have the crown I’ll put it in. I won’t ask the office, so they can’t say no.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said.

So, today was the day for the dentist appointment. I thought I’d combine going back to the doctor too, so went there first.
The lab woman took my form and sat me down. She started typing things into the computer.
“I see we’ve got a CDC here,” she said.
“Center for Disease Control?” I asked her.
“Let’s hope they don’t show up,” she said.
That wasn’t quite the “no it is a test for blood levels” I expected.
But, she took my blood and I went off to the dentist. No sign of the CDC.

I like my dentist. She is very good at what she does. But, she is always, always late.
Today, the battery on my palm died before she got to me. (OK, it wasn’t at full charge. But, still…) To be fair, looking at the printed schedule on the wall, she had more appointments then any of the other dentists. So, I guess I’m not the only one who thinks she does good work.
I was worried she wouldn’t have the crown, but there it was when she came in.
She tried it, decided she had to modify it some, and then got called off.
With my palm not working, and nothing to read, I closed my eyes and relaxed.
I don’t think I fell asleep, but it was close.
The next thing I hear is:
“Frank!” my dentist shouted. “You’re dead!”
I sat up. I looked around.
She was standing out in the hallway pointing towards the receptionist desk.
“What did I do now?” the receptionist/office manager named Frank asked from the front.
“You sent one of my patients to another dentist,” my dentist yelled at him. “She won’t go to anyone else. She insists on seeing me. And, now she’s mad you sent her to someone else.”
She came into the room and looked at me sitting up in the chair.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “You’re not the Frank who is dead.”
“Good to know,” I said.
As she started to work on my tooth again, the other Frank came in.
“Frank!” he shouted. “You’re alive!”
I didn’t say anything as the dentist’s hands were holding my teeth, but I was glad that this new understanding had spread through the office.
They “discussed” what he had done wrong while she took my crown in and out making adjustments. Finally, as he left, she put some goop on it, pushed it into my jaw and walked out.
There was another argument in the hall about some other guy who couldn’t finish payments on his crown so they would only repair his temporary crown, not put in the final. If he wanted the final, he had to arrange it with the office manager and financial guy, Tom.
Soon after, Tom walked into my room.
“What’s your name?” he asked, looking between me and his paperwork.
“Frank,” I said.
“Oh yes, the one who is alive,” he said. “You’re not the one I’m looking for.”
He walked off. A few minutes later, the dentist’s assistant came in.
“Did she cement it in?” the assistant asked.
“I think so,” I said. “She put goop on it and pushed it down really hard.”
The assistant confirmed it was cemented, cleaned it off and sent me out.
As I walked into the reception area I heard:
“Frank! You are alive after all!”
The expression on the faces of the people waiting to go into the dentist were very amusing.

Frank and I then got into a “discussion” about how the insurance company had not yet paid them for their half of the crown. But, now it was cemented in my mouth we had to work out what to do about it.
We agreed, after some additional discussion of life and death, that my paying for the half the insurance wouldn’t up front would be good enough.
I got the impression there would be more “discussions” with my dentist. But, I’m happy she got me the tooth.

Comments

[malterre.livejournal.com]

So glad you are alive (and can eat with both sides of your mouth again)

[blue-micha.livejournal.com]

You know... All these Crowns... yours and your wife's. Really makes me wonder if all of them were reeeaaalllyyy necissairy. O.o

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

I did some bad things to my teeth 20 years ago.
Falling on my chin on a cement floor while drunk.
Not going to a dentist for 5 years.
Drinking 6 liters of sugar based soda a day for those 5 years.

I'm not saying that the dentist doesn't make money on it, and knows that she does.

But, there is a good bit of "I had this coming" there too.

[palusbuteo.livejournal.com]

Yikes!

All of these crowns too...Yeah you'd think you and Holly'd be Royalty by now. Hmmmm....Emper--um--President Frank...Hmmm...

I went to a podiatrist a few years ago and I think it was the week between me getting the referral and either the actual visit/work, or a followup, apparently some other by my name or similar had died in an awful car wreck and the pod's office thought it was me - They were relieved when I called them for a confirm on insurance and some such, they then relayed the story...I never did find out who that person was who died...Very strange.

(there are several out there with my name...Must seek them out sometime...there can only be one.)

[morgan-lafaye.livejournal.com]

The Frank lives....YEAYEAYEAYEAEYAEYAEYAEYEA.