More on names

[fbhjr]

When I say “my father” I mean my paternal parent.
When I say “my mother” I mean my maternal parent.
When I say “my sister” I mean my father’s daughter.
When I say “my brother” I mean my parent’s other son.
When I say “my aunt” I mean either my father or mother’s sister, or the
wives of my uncles.
When I say “my uncle” I mean one of my mother’s brothers or the husbands of
my aunts.
When I say “my cousin” I mean the children, grand children or great grand
children of my aunts and uncles.

So, why I am I told that when I say “my wife” I somehow mean “my
possession” instead of “woman that I’m married to”?

It is a description of a relationship, just as the other terms are. And, I
honestly don’t see why it is any more or less then that.

Is she my wife?
Yes. We got married. That makes her my wife. It makes me her husband.
That’s pretty much the definition of what getting married meant. Our
wedding created that relationship between us. It didn’t create
possessions, it created a relationship.

Eight years ago, my father died. If some other man now adopted me that
would make him my father. It would make me his son. It wouldn’t make him
my possession or me his. It would create a relationship between us.
Marriage, like adoption, creates relationships between people.
Relationships that are important enough that there are special words to
describe them.

Now, if anything, I think the relationship created when we got married is
more important then the ones I list at the start of this post. Because of
all of the ones I list, marrying me was the only one that is voluntary. My
brother got no choice in me. Nor did my uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
But, my wife did choose to marry me.
To me, that’s very powerful.
Of all the people in the world, she chose me.

That’s one of the reasons that these accusations bother me so much. They
totally discount the things I think are most important and substitute some
sort of twisted stereotype.
Are there people out there who live down to that stereotype? Yes, I’m sure
there are.
Does that mean everyone does? No.
It is not right to judge everything on the stereotype.

Comments

[palusbuteo.livejournal.com]

I had an engaged couple who were friends back in college who would refer to each other as fiance, then when they go married they called each other [my] wife and [my] husband...Doesn't bother me...I'm not the one who's married.

Maybe throw a little LOTR into the mix?

I am her Ring Bearer. It is my burden to bare. :P :D

At first meeting you two and getting to know you, I found it odd you'd refer to her as "my wife", but you never explained why until now, and it makes perfect sense. If that is what both of you have accepted, then noone ought to give you grief.

So yeah I'm confuzled about other people who get bent out of shape when they're not even married or married to your wife...It's an official proper title. Umm, deal? I don't understand these people who get irked over what other people do, it's not affecting them, why do they care so much?