More on names

[fbhjr]

When I say “my father” I mean my paternal parent.
When I say “my mother” I mean my maternal parent.
When I say “my sister” I mean my father’s daughter.
When I say “my brother” I mean my parent’s other son.
When I say “my aunt” I mean either my father or mother’s sister, or the
wives of my uncles.
When I say “my uncle” I mean one of my mother’s brothers or the husbands of
my aunts.
When I say “my cousin” I mean the children, grand children or great grand
children of my aunts and uncles.

So, why I am I told that when I say “my wife” I somehow mean “my
possession” instead of “woman that I’m married to”?

It is a description of a relationship, just as the other terms are. And, I
honestly don’t see why it is any more or less then that.

Is she my wife?
Yes. We got married. That makes her my wife. It makes me her husband.
That’s pretty much the definition of what getting married meant. Our
wedding created that relationship between us. It didn’t create
possessions, it created a relationship.

Eight years ago, my father died. If some other man now adopted me that
would make him my father. It would make me his son. It wouldn’t make him
my possession or me his. It would create a relationship between us.
Marriage, like adoption, creates relationships between people.
Relationships that are important enough that there are special words to
describe them.

Now, if anything, I think the relationship created when we got married is
more important then the ones I list at the start of this post. Because of
all of the ones I list, marrying me was the only one that is voluntary. My
brother got no choice in me. Nor did my uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
But, my wife did choose to marry me.
To me, that’s very powerful.
Of all the people in the world, she chose me.

That’s one of the reasons that these accusations bother me so much. They
totally discount the things I think are most important and substitute some
sort of twisted stereotype.
Are there people out there who live down to that stereotype? Yes, I’m sure
there are.
Does that mean everyone does? No.
It is not right to judge everything on the stereotype.

Comments

[capt-amos.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine the women who have been disappointed when the words "my wife" came out of your mouth over 25 years?

The list is probably longer than you think. :-)

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

I don't think it would be difficult for the list to be longer than I think. ;)