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My wife and I have friends who are concerned about our relationship. And,
with good reason. Our relationship has been having problems of a major
sort this last year or two and both of us have suffered because of that.
Some of our friends out there have been trying to help us with the
relationship. And, I do appreciate you are trying to help.
If you do want to help, then please help on the positive side. Both of us
are well aware of our weak points. We are aware of our problems. We are
aware of our short comings.
Neither of us needs help in seeing them. Hearing more of that does not
help. It shakes our confidence when we are already shaky and makes it
harder to work on the things that need it.
If you really want to help us, help us remember the good: in ourselves, in
each other, in our relationship, in our friends, in why you care enough to
want to help.
We don’t have difficulty remembering the bad. We have lived with the bad,
and it is still hanging around more than enough to let us forget it.
The good is more elusive. Both of us have trouble getting a grip on that.
That’s where we need the help.