Happy birthday to my sister

[fbhjr]

Today my sister turns 66.
It’s been 7124 days since I last heard from her, so I really have no idea
what she is up to these days, but I hope that she is having a good time and
enjoys her birthday.
I did violate my own rule about not contacting her and sent her a happy
birthday letter.
She may well toss it out unread as I sometimes do when my mother and
brother send me things.
But, at least I tried.

Comments

[postingwhore.livejournal.com]

Do you mind talking about the reason(s) behind the estrangement? It's totally fine if you do mind.

And it's really nice of you to try.

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

You'll find there is very little I won't talk about.
I find there is very little I haven't already talked about.

So here is the long winded explanation I gave 2 years ago:
http://fbhjr.livejournal.com/593948.html

[postingwhore.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the link! That's a sad story. Why do you sometimes toss out stuff from your mother and your brother unread?

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

As with my sister I will link to things I have already written if that is OK.
http://fbhjr.livejournal.com/609782.html
http://fbhjr.livejournal.com/495491.html

[postingwhore.livejournal.com]

forever late, but ty for the links! Do you have any for why your mother & grandmother disapproved of your wife and her family?

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

No. At least I've never done a summation of it.
I'll work on doing that.

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

I take it back. I guess I did write it up and just forgot:
http://fbhjr.livejournal.com/810362.html

[postingwhore.livejournal.com]

Did you ever write up This led to the infamous “my wife hiding in a closet when my mother paid a
surprise visit one Sunday morning at 8AM” story. ?

And what's the big deal about marrying an old English family, anyway? Do people where you live actually care about that? I've never gotten that impression in the US (though I've never been to the Northeast).

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

I couldn't find that story. So, some day I will work on that.


It isn't something a lot of people care about these days. Some do, but not many.
Being one of the families that helped settle and found this country is work less than the electricity needed to run my keyboard as I type this. But, some folks really care about that family history stuff.

When my mother's mother's family came here from Ireland, they did their best to erase their old family history and buy into that American dream stuff. They chained their name and erased the old one (I still don't know what it was. Only one aunt does and she won't tell me) and did their best to fit in.
At the time there was a lot of prejudice against the Irish people. They had trouble getting jobs, they were very looked down upon, and considered undesirable.
So, in that climate there was some sense in trying to distance the family from that.
But, that ended many, many years ago.

So, this was part of that whole thing.
This is why it is so confusing to everyone else. It really doesn't make much sense. It only made any sense at all 100+ years ago. And, none at all now.

[frozendoll.livejournal.com]

I think it's OK for you to reach out. The ball is in her court in regards to if she wants to communicate, but at least you can go through life knowing that you did try and don't have that big what if hanging over you.

[mary919.livejournal.com]

I read the post explaining the story. My father has never said he loves me-- not once ever. And yet I eat dinner with my parents every Sunday-- he and I are good friends-- they took me in when I first got sick and he personally monitored my medications. I realize her story goes much deeper than mine, but I have always thought the not saying "I love you" thing was generational. His parents never said it to any of us and he never says it to his children. It sounds like she was taken good care of through much oddness-- Why would her mother want that for her daughter??-- but she had the option of not working because of their financial support. I hope you hear from her!

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

Good on you for wading through all that!

To some extent it is generational and just my father being a good example of a laconic Vermont yankee. He didn't say much to anyone.
But, it did go beyond that with my sister. Granted at the urging of his wife.
Even he knew it was wrong, which is why he sent me off to talk to her.

I don't ever remember him telling me either. But, he didn't ignore me.
(I do remember when he called me an embarassment to the family, but that's another story.)

[thistle-chaser.livejournal.com]

Awww. I hope she keeps it and reads it.

[hindustar.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry you are estranged.

[chaquir.livejournal.com]

(((hugs)))

[endlessblush.livejournal.com]

you tried, and that's all you can do

[cissa.livejournal.com]

I hope she appreciates this. *virtual hugs*