Hello world
Sep. 11th, 2007 09:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fbhjrSince I signed up for this, I feel obligated to post something.
So, I’ll start with why I hate it.
My parents never talked to each other in any kind of meaningful way. My father would remain silent no matter what my mother said, suggested or did.
But, if he didn’t like something, he would go and write it in his diary.
So, that became their primary means of communication. My mother would say and/or do things. Then, she’d sneak off to read what he wrote about it later. He knew she was doing and only wrote what he wanted her to hear. She knew he knew and would try and provoke greater reactions.
So, I hate the idea of people going around using this to communicate as it reminds me of just how screwed up my family was.
But, it has been very painfully pointed out to me that my avoidance of it has left me out of the loop on a great many things. Not the least of which is my wife, her feelings and her opinions of our life together. Had I been more in that loop, I doubt things would be as bad between us as they are now.
So, maybe screwed up communications is better than none at all. I don’t know.
But, what the hell, it’s free.
So, I’ll start with why I hate it.
My parents never talked to each other in any kind of meaningful way. My father would remain silent no matter what my mother said, suggested or did.
But, if he didn’t like something, he would go and write it in his diary.
So, that became their primary means of communication. My mother would say and/or do things. Then, she’d sneak off to read what he wrote about it later. He knew she was doing and only wrote what he wanted her to hear. She knew he knew and would try and provoke greater reactions.
So, I hate the idea of people going around using this to communicate as it reminds me of just how screwed up my family was.
But, it has been very painfully pointed out to me that my avoidance of it has left me out of the loop on a great many things. Not the least of which is my wife, her feelings and her opinions of our life together. Had I been more in that loop, I doubt things would be as bad between us as they are now.
So, maybe screwed up communications is better than none at all. I don’t know.
But, what the hell, it’s free.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-12 04:54 pm (UTC)My upbringing has always been more of a being to bluntly honest than a not communicating enough, but over the years I've learned the value of diplomacy.
The ability that Tamar and I have in discussing things fully and her tolerance of my overanalysis of most situations, along with my explanation of my actions and reactions, is one of the things which has made our marriage so good.
I'm not sure how much advice you guys are willing to listen or tolerate on this type of stuff, but if we can be of any aid, don't hesitate to ask.
(Mainly we just haven't been saying anything in shock).
Meanwhile, speaking of communications, me and my lil'bro are slowly trying to break my mother of her passive aggressive undiplomatic bluntness before she really and truly screws the pooch by pissing off both our wives. It's slow going, the mom doesn't like or deal well with criticism.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-12 05:31 pm (UTC)Things are so messed up I don't know know what advice to ask for, so if I don't seem to be asking for much, that's why.