Forgiveness

[fbhjr]

I told someone I forgave them recently and they told me they didn’t believe
me because in the past I have continued to talk about the things that hurt
me, even after I said I had forgiven them.

I do understand how they see it that way.
I told them they were forgiven and to them it seems like I then say “look
what you did to me!”
But, that isn’t how it is to me.

If someone stabbed me and then said they were sorry, I could forgive them,
but then might say “now help me bandage this wound.”
I’m not trying to “rub their face” in the hurt they caused me.  I’m trying
to get some healing.

Forgiveness is not: “I stabbed you and you said you forgave me, so if you
don’t let me be on my way you haven’t really forgiven me.”
If you hurt someone then walk away with only a “sorry”, then I don’t think
you are really sorry.

In the sword troupe if someone gets hurt it is a big deal to us.  It very
rarely happens and has (so far and hopefully forever) never been serious.
But, the usual reaction is to grab the medical kit, sit the person down and
bandage whatever part got hurt.

Forgiveness is not permission to walk away with hands clean leaving the
other person on the ground bleeding because “you were forgiven”.

Even if you are forgiven, grab that med kit, get those bandages and listen
to the person tell you where it hurts.
No, looking at the wound you cause and listening to them tell you it hurts
may not be easy.
But, being asked to help fix the harm you caused does not mean you weren’t
forgiven for it.

Comments

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

you're just posting a lot of stuff i agree with today. *grin*

They don't understand?

[gilden.livejournal.com]

Right on the money, Frank.
Forgiveness is NOT Absolution..
I wonder if whoever it is knows the difference?

[evrgreen.livejournal.com]

While I am very glad that you are back and posting again, the somber tone of the posts is very disturbing. I hope that this did not totally overwhelm your life these past days and that there were some very good & happy parts, too.

People have been showing some of their very worst sides all over the world these days, but there have also been a few who have shown their very best.

[mythfish.livejournal.com]

For me, forgiveness is usually "I'll give you the chance to make things better instead of instantly and totally removing you from my life".