Faxless

[fbhjr]

When we started Phoenix Swords in 2002 we sent maybe a fax a month to
people and it cost $10 a month to do that.  That was pretty steep, but the
faxes were contracts for jobs.  So, better to pay the $10 for a $2000
contract, right?

Nine years later, I haven’t sent a fax in more than 2 years.  And, the cost
has gone up to $15.95 a month.
So, we decided it was not an expense we need.

I called them today to cancel the service.
I was put on hold long enough that I went over to BestBuy and bought a new
memory card for my camera while I waited.
Finally, a young man with an accent that was not North American came on the
phone.
“I want to cancel my account,” I told him.
“I’m sorry the wait was so long!” he said.  “My computer crashed!  I
couldn’t help it!  They only buy cheap computers for us to  use, please
don’t cancel your account because of that!”
“I was calling to cancel from the beginning,” I said.  “The wait had
nothing to do with it.”
“But, you’ve been a customer for 9 years!” he said.  “Our records show that
you’ve sent literally a dozen or more faxes in that time!  You don’t want
to give that up do you?”
“Yes.  I do.  Cancel my account.”
“I see your mind is made up,” he said.  “But, what if I offered you a $25
credit and reduced your monthly charge to $12.50!  That would be two months
free!”
“No thank you.  Cancel my account.”
“I see your mind is still made up,” he said.  “But, what if I offered you
the same service for only $50 a year!  That’s a good price!”
“It is a good price, but I do not want it.  Cancel my account.”
“It’s because you were on hold too long, isn’t it?”
“No, it is because I don’t use your service any more and I don’t want to
pay for something I don’t use.”
“Your mind really is made up,” he said.  “I will cancel your account.  But,
if you change your mind you can reactivate it any time in the next 50 days
and keep the same fax number!”
“That is a very kind offer,” I said.  “I do not expect to use it.”
“If you get a customer service questionnaire from this, can you please say
you didn’t do this because of the wait time on hold?”
“Yes, because that isn’t why,” I told him.  “I did it because I don’t need
your service any more and got tired of paying for it.”
“Oh, thank you sir, have a nice day!”

If you work out how many faxes I sent and how expensive that service was, I
paid about $50 per fax.  Granted, to get the big jobs down south that is
still a good trade.
But, I don’t feel at all bad about no longer paying for that.

Comments

[temperlj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thank you for stopping that, now we have to arrange for a "texting" line ;-P

[dandelion-diva.livejournal.com]

I feel bad for the guy. I'm picturing him as the squeaky-voiced teenager with all the bad jobs on The Simpsons...or Futurama. Either way, it's funnier if you read it in that voice. *Grin*

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

If you mixed the Simpson's teenage guy with Apu, it would be this guy.

I did feel bad for him. But, not bad enough to keep paying.

[evrgreen.livejournal.com]

ACtually, I thought this was funnier than h-e-double-hockey sticks!