Therapy

[fbhjr]

We had our meeting with the marriage counselor last night. My wife had
told him I was upset with the last session, so I had printed and mailed him
my post about it.
He did say that he had been joking, not seriously accusing me of twisting
her arm.
He did apologize for making light of it; saying something that hurt my
feelings, and making me feel bad about something that I had been very happy
about.
That helped a lot.
Especially the last part. I had gone in to that session very happy. I
didn’t come out that way.
It is nice to have him understand that his joke made me feel bad about the
thing I was happy about and apologize for it.
Apologies go a very long way to making me feel better about things. If
someone tells me they are sorry for causing me pain, it is a lot easier for
me to get over the pain.
And, as I said before, he and I have very different styles. So, I was
willing to believe that there was a misunderstanding and not a deliberate
insult.
There are still a lot of problems. And, there are still things in his
style I have trouble with. He flat out said that our sessions are just to
discuss and address issues. There is no plan to them. There is no goal to
be reached. There is no roadmap for them.
That’s hard for me. I’m very much a “how do we get from here to there”
kind of person. I prefer to have maps, directions, alternate routes,
landmarks and info on the area I’m traveling through all done up in advance.
It’s hard for me to do a “we’re going to drive around, look at what we see,
stop where we feel like it and not know where we’re going” kind of thing.
Especially since I feel like I’ve left the oven on and my home might be
bursting into flame at any moment. It is very uncomfortable to ask “will
everything be OK while we’re doing this? And, when are we going to get
back?” and be told “Don’t know.”
I hope it all works out.
Knowing he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings certainly makes me feel better
about trying to work it out with him.

Comments

[zosh.livejournal.com]

Take a deep breath, relax, and have faith. :)