Fucking FedEx, part 2

[fbhjr]

All weekend long I exchanged emails with FedEx over my lost parts.
My complaint kept getting boosted to higher levels of people. Each time it moved up a level, I got an email from the new level saying “we’ll track down your lost package”. Each time I wrote back “Really, you know what kid stole it from my front stairs after your guy gave it to someone not on the shipping label who left it out in the open?”
Then I’d get another email saying “Oh, I didn’t realize that was the problem, you need to talk to my boss” and the process would repeat.
Today, they called me and left a message saying “You’re right, it is our fault because our guy had the wrong person sign for it. Please call us back so we can make this right for you.”
OK. I called back.
The person I got on the phone was very nice and professional. They had tracked down the driver. He had confirmed he didn’t contact me in any way before letting my neighbor sign, so it was FedEx’s fault not mine.
“I”m making in the shipping record that it was our fault,” she said. “I’m afraid you have to call Apple and request a new part yourself. But, once they look up the record, they’ll see we agree to pay for it and they’ll ship you a new one.”
I called Apple. They have a very advanced voice recognition computer that understood and spoke far better English then the person I was eventually given to talk with.
After going through it three times with him, he finally understood that FedEx had lost my package and I wanted a new one.
“You do not talk to us about this, you talk to FedEx,” he told me.
“They told me to talk to you,” I said.
“They are wrong. You must talk to them.”
“Perhaps you’ll check my current open orders on the same account before you hang up,” I said.
There was a pause.
“Oh my,” was softly said. “I must put you on hold.” *
As near as I can tell, he held his phone out the window. Or, their background music is really bad.
“Mr. Hunt, are you still there?” he said after a few minutes.
“Yes. I am.”
“Seeing as you are such a good customer and this is such an inexpensive part, we are going to send you one for free.”
“It’s not free,” I said. “I already paid for one you didn’t manage to get to me.”
“Yes, of course,” he said. “I am putting in the order now for no additional cost.”
“Send it to my work address,” I told him. “I don’t want to go through this with you again.”
“Oh yes, of course,” he said. “You will see the order confirmation soon. Please have a good day!”

Monday nights my wife usually goes into Cambridge for sword research, but it was called off tonight. So after dinner I suggested we go to the Apple store and see if they had one of these connectors. If they did, I’d try and get them to swap it for the one on order and cancel shipping it to me.
So, we drove off there.
I looked around and couldn’t find one. So, I asked a sales woman who appeared to be about 10 years older then me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “We don’t have any, but you can order them from our web site.”
“I tried that and my package got lost,” I said. “That’s why I hoped you had them.”
“Fucking FedEx,” she said. “They always screw up.”
So, I guess it’s not just me...


* For those who don’t know, we have a friend who has worked for Apple and has just given her notice. She told us we could order from her employee discount for the next week, so we invested in a new computer, plus my impending iPad. Both are due to ship to us this week.

Comments

[cosmicirony.livejournal.com]

Hooray for new computers (especially with discounts!)
I hope they don't ship it FedEx though :-)

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

It is. To my work not home.
Hopefully that will be OK.

[chris-warrior.livejournal.com]

“Oh my,” was softly said. “I must put you on hold.” *
As near as I can tell, he held his phone out the window. Or, their background music is really bad.
“Mr. Hunt, are you still there?” he said after a few minutes.
“Yes. I am.”
“Seeing as you are such a good customer and this is such an inexpensive part, we are going to send you one for free.”
“It’s not free,” I said. “I already paid for one you didn’t manage to get to me.”

this made me crack up. i'm still smiling.

and you didn't even threaten them with a weapon! just the might of your ordering history! ;)

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

Why would I threaten them with a weapon?
They know I'm not going to be able to drive to India where the man on the phone so clearly was...

[pallid-regina.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there is any chance future FedEx orders will arrive without a hitch? Gah.

I swear that they do that..

[evrgreen.livejournal.com]

knowing full well that it can be hard to get mad and yell at someone who sounds just like Apu on the Simpsons.

Re: I swear that they do that..

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

His English was no where near as good as Apu's.