Banks and my mother

[fbhjr]

I was reading an interview with the CEO of a very large bank this morning about the probability of a recession coming up. (High…)
He was still going on about how fundamentally safe banks were and how he didn’t want people’s trust in them eroded by a few issues.

My faith in banks has never been high.
When I was 5 my mother took me to the bank to open an account.
She said that saving money was important and she wanted to encourage that habit in me. As she was an accountant, she felt it was important that she instill this financial responsibility in me.

For my birthday and other holidays I had amassed the princely sum of $27. (Hey, for a 5 year old in 1968, that was a lot. On line inflation calculators tell me it would more than $200 now…)

My mother told me that to teach me good habits, every time I put money into my bank account, she would match that amount. So, I would see how putting money in the bank was good.
For several years every event where I got money, I’d give her about half of it to put in the account.
As I was very much a minor it was a trustee account and my mother had control of it, so I rarely went to the bank with her on these trips. She said she’d put the money in when she went there for her own banking needs.

When I got to be about 10 I was very interested in astronomy and wanted to buy a telescope. (I was reading college astronomy textbooks in 5th grade, but was in remedial classes in school, but that’s another story.)

I did the calculation of 5 years x $20 a year, doubled, should put me pretty close to the $200 a telescope cost.
I asked my mother what the balance was in the account, and she was evasive. Never a good sign.
So, I broke into her desk and found the bank book for the the account.
$17.
Less than I had started it with 5 years before.

I confronted my mother about this and she explained she moved money from account to account for reasons I wouldn’t understand and just because I saw a small amount didn’t mean that I didn’t have more money.
I asked how much she thought I had.
“About $50,” she said.
“But, I’ve been giving you double that for 5 years,” I said. “And, you said you’d match that if I put it in the bank! So, I should have a lot more!”
“Well, that matching money is mine anyhow,” she said. “And, the rest of it was not as much as you remember. $50 is right. No more.”

I rode my bike over to the bank and complained.
The explained my mother was the trustee on the account. While they agreed my story sounded unfair, technically the account was hers to use as she wanted, despite my name on it.
I couldn’t even close it, even though I vowed never to use it again.

When I turned 16 and began working formally at the supermarket I took my first paycheck across the street to a different bank to open an account.
“You’re not 18,” the banker told me.
“I’m old enough to have a job with a paycheck,” I said. “Doesn’t that make me old enough to put it in the bank?”
“I’m not supposed to do it without parental permission.”
“Loan me the phone and I’ll dial my father’s work number.”
“Your mother comes in here a lot. I could ask her when I see her.”
“But, you can give me the account now? And, one in my name, not hers?”
She looked at me. I came to realize that maybe she knew my mother better than I thought.
“It’s reasonable that she’d agree to let you have an account. So, let’s open it now. But, if she deny’s permission later, I’ll have to close it.”
“Agreed.”
My account was opened.
About a week later my mother said to me “The woman at the bank told me she was very impressed by how you opened your own account with your first paycheck. She asked me if I was impressed by your doing it, which I thought was a strange question. But, I agreed that it was a good thing for you to do. That seemed to make her happy.”
I was impressed by that banker. Who clearly did know my mother.

For the next several years my mother would recruit me to move money through my account for her. It was just a savings account, so no checks or anything. But, she’d do things like “put this $2000 in your account until next month, the give it back. You can keep the interest.”
I made $3.15 an hour before taxes. $2k was a year’s take home for me. But, I did it.
It’s more than 40 years later and I still have no idea what she was doing shuffling that money around. Or, if my father ever knew she was doing it.

I did prove I didn’t learn my lesson in college. After my first year I had a job cleaning up roads for the state that paid very well, and I put most of the money into the bank. So, at the end of the summer I had about $3k built up.
“Don’t move it to your bank in Worcester,” my mother told me. “I’ll put it in my account that has much higher interest due to the big balance and I can send you what you need as you need it. And, you’ll make a lot more than you would in that small account in Worcester.”
I’m not sure why I fell for it. But, I did.

Two months later, after I had spent about $700 of it, I asked her to send me more. As a new class was starting up and I needed money for the books.”
“It’s all gone,” she said. “You went though it very fast.”
“This is the first time I asked for any.”
“Oh, but your other expenses like school books and such.”
“But, I haven’t bought them yet. That’s what I want the money for.”
“Not, new books, your old ones.”
“You back charged me for books you bought for me last semester?”
“I didn’t buy them for you, I loaned you the money for them. And, now you’ve paid me back.”

I failed two classes that term as I couldn’t buy the books. When one of the professors asked me why I seemed to start well and finish poorly I explained he called for 7 books and I could only afford the first 3. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’d have loaned them to you!” I pointed out that had not been said when I needed to hear it. But, I digress.

My point is all this “trust in the banks must be maintained!” stuff I am reading in the news just makes me angry.
They might be better than my mother, but it is still greedy people trying to make money off of my money.
Maybe they won’t outright steal it as my mother did, but there are still fees, charges, and other things that make sure they get their share.
I use banks as it is much easier to be able to transfer funds electronically, pay my bills on line and withdraw cash at machines when I need it.
But, I don’t trust them. I always know they’re going to be taking some from me for all that. As long as it isn’t too much, I put up with it.
But, trust them?
Maybe individual folks like my friend Tom who is a bank manager, or that woman from 40+ years ago who helped me get a protected account.
Not as an institution.

Comments

[chris_warrior]

i can't even with this story. holy shit. <3 i'm so sorry your mother did that to you. it's AWFUL.

i had a decent experience with Chase when i got divorced; they separated everything in half and made accounts for my soon-to-be ex husband and me. the account manager was very helpful and kid; i was sobbing my guts out, so i remember it. but a few bank scandals later and i went to a local credit union. i'll never use a bank again.