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This is the 15th anniversary of my least favorite day of my life.

My wife suffered at ectopic pregnancy and almost died.
Our unborn child could not be saved.
Our chances of ever having a kid of our own ended.

I’ve never been a big fan of this time of year, but since that night in 2003 I’ve hated it.

The implications of all that happened that night went on for years and caused a tremendous amount of damage in our lives. It took years for the ripples of it to even stop causing us more damage, much less do anything about the damage caused.

The good news is that the last few years we do seem to have been past the point of damage still occurring and have started to put things right. It’s a long process. Things are much better than they were, but the repairs continue.

Any of you who have read my journal know that I have a tendency to strange luck. And, to me there are clearly signs when the universe it tapping on my head trying to get my attention. Ignore that and the tapping gets harder.

And, example of this was that today The Guardian new service started a new podcast service.
What’s their first subject:
Miscarriages and why no one talks about them. On the 15th anniversary of it happening to us.

The point is it happens to 20% of women, but still often leaves them feeling lonely.
My only comment would be that men are often left lonely by that loss too.

Hopefully my paying attention to this is enough. Hopefully that tapping won’t get harder...