Pondering family

[fbhjr]

Yesterday was 19 years since I last talked to my sister.
Tomorrow will be 13 years since my father died.
If my grandmother was still alive she would have turned 113 today. (I have
always maintained my father clung to life one more day so not to die on the
100th anniversary of his mother in law’s birth…)
The day after tomorrow our godchildren will arrive to spend a week with us.
Two weeks from today I will be as old as my grandfather was when he died.
(25 to 43 younger than the other three when they went.)

Seems to be a lot of family things going on right in this stretch of time.

That seems a bit strange as I’ve been trying to get in touch with some of
my family and haven’t had much success.

My uncle Ted moved to an assisted living place only 6 miles from me earlier
this year. I called to see about getting together.
“Not right now, we’re still moving in,” he said. “I’ll give you a call
next month.”
That was 4 months ago.

My aunt (that uncle’s sister) that I usually see this time of year no
longer has the beach house we used to visit. But, I dropped her a line
last week asking if she wanted to get together near where she lives now.
No answer.

Ah well, this is the side of the family where my being an embarrassment to
them has never been revoked. Maybe it is for the best that I don’t spend
much time around them.

Comments

[endlessblush.livejournal.com]

hey - did you finalise your plan of activities to have with your godchildren?

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

Mostly. We left one day open so we can do things we haven't thought of yet.

[circumspectly.livejournal.com]

I never had any family, and from what I see in some families...I'm not too torn up about not having one.

[phoenixisrisen.livejournal.com]

I don't see you as the black sheep type; in my family you would be admired for your accomplishments!

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

The problem is my mother had a life plan for me. If I do not follow that life plan I am a failure and an embarassment to her family.
I'm not sure when she came up with this life plan. I know it was already in place when I started kindergarten at age 4. So, if might well predate my actual existance.
But, it contained my education, carreer, marrige and retirement.
Sadly my actual preferences, skills and tallents do not line up very well with that plan.
So, I didn't follow it very well. (I am an engineer. Which was on the plan. But, I was supposed to be an electrical engineer, not a mechanical engineer, so I've still lost out on that one.)

My father's sdie of the family is not like this. I get along with them much better.
Most of my mother's family has also realized this isn't a good way to run your life. But, not all.

I know all parents wish good things for their kids. And, I'm sure many have an image of what they'd like their kid's life to be.
But, it should allow for what the kid wants too...

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Argh. My sympathies!

I guess I chose NOT to have a Plan for K's life, and thus I am proud of what she's done- even some of the more dubious bits- because that's what SHE chose and she made it a success.

I was the "black sheep" in my family of origin, too, and i really don't see why; I was more competent and successful than my sister, but that just made it worse. *shrugs* Whatever. This was mostly due to my mother, but the rest of the family could not be arsed to defy her.