Question #20

[fbhjr]

This is in answer to the frozendoll meme I started earlier.

#20) Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert

My wife and I do discuss this a lot as she is big on those Meyer’s Briggs tests.

Usually when I take the test I fall very close to the line between them. If I fall into one or the other it is usually just my mood that day.

I do think of myself as more of an introvert. I prefer small groups of people to large. I prefer things like going to dinner with a few friends to a party. I like having a fair bit of time to myself or with just me and my wife. Most of the things I do are things I can do by myself. (Reading, video games, bike riding, swimming, etc.) Even when I play things like World of Warcraft I rarely join groups and if I do it is with folks I already know.
While I do enjoy company and visiting with people I can fairly easily overload on it and want time alone. (Alone in this context includes my wife with me.)

However:
I have been a performer since 3rd grade. I have been put in front of audiences for music, singing, speeches, acting and sword fighting.
And, I have often ended up in leadership roles for those things.

There are people who refuse to believe I’m an introvert because of that.

But, I don’t see it that way. From the very beginning I was told that the cost of learning these things or doing these things was the performance.
I wanted to learn the violin to have something to do together with my dad. But, the lessons expected recitals and concerts.
I wanted to travel the country and meet girls. Being a national officers in the youth group let me do that, but speeches to run for office and presentations were I went were the cost of that.
When I joined the original sword group 12 years ago, I didn’t even know they did shows. But, when I found out I agreed to do them. I ended up liking that, so when my wife and I started our own group we continued that.

And, growing up, I was always pushed forward. As the oldest male grandchild I was told I had to lead, I had to represent the group, I had to stand up for my cousins.
I got used to it.

So, I look at myself as an introvert that has been trained to be outgoing.
But, left to my own, I will fade back.

Comments

[palusbuteo.livejournal.com]

"paying the cost to be the boss", as the BB King song goes....

I know exactly what you mean, and, I feel I'm very similar in this perspective on performance/introvert.

I think it comes down to context/categorizing how we conduct our day and activities, and we, as you mention, sort of train ourselves
to prepare for being out there in the public, and once that's done, it's MY time alone, etc.

Having my own Art studio has been so great, as I can go whenever I want, for as long as I want, crank up my music and work
on whatever I want with hardly anyone bothering me or looking over my shoulder - As that sometimes can really bother me and
derail my confidence/diligence.

[labelleizzy.livejournal.com]

very interesting.

I feel like I have certain amounts of "extrovert fuel" and of "introvert fuel" implicit in my nature. I used to think I was a full on extrovert but am discovering different. If I use all my "extrovert fuel" - like full time teaching for a month without a break - then I need to spend my off-work time doing quiet stuff with myself and family. Same on if I use all my "introvert fuel" - being unemployed for this extended period - then going out and being among people... almost ANY people, talking and watching, is a refuel.

[fbhjr.livejournal.com]

What you say is probably closer to what I mean. I do like spending time with people and such, but I've got to ballance it out with being alone as well.