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It was a dark and stormy night. Lighting flashed. Thunder rolled. Cliche? Yes. But, that is the sort of night it was...
Strange as it was February. We usually have cold and snow that time of year. If we had normal weather, maybe things would have been different...

About 1 year after my friends and I almost stole the elephant, my brother came to visit me in college. (That space between semesters...)

My friends were having a party that night. I gave them money towards my share of the booze and headed off with my brother for the afternoon.
It was pouring rain with occasional thunderstorms, so we didn’t want to do anything outside.
My friend Alan and I brought my brother to the video arcade in downtown Worcester for the afternoon.
On the way home, we got in a car accident.
It was dark. It was wet. Alan’s car hydroplaned while making a turn. He stopped before we hit anything. That’s when the car coming the other way hit us.

It took hours to sort that out. By the time we got back to campus, the food service had closed. I had used all my money for booze for the party and quarters for the games we played.
I found my brother what leftovers I could in my apartment and skipped eating myself.

It was about 10 in the evening when I got to my friends party. When Alan and I walked in, someone handed me a liter bottle of peppermint schnapps and told me it was my share from what I had paid.

I had not eaten anything since lunch. I downed the bottle in less than 5 minutes. I got very drunk, very fast.
Soon afterwards I felt the need to go to the bathroom. I staggered down the hall, did my business and went to return to my friend’s dorm room.
I realized I was not going to remain vertical.
“I’m going to fall down now,” I said.

In my memory, the next happens in slow motion.

I start to tilt forward and the ground comes up to meet me.
My friend Alan, in little better shape them me, runs towards me shouting “Noooooooooooooooo!”
I hit the ground square on the bottom of my chin, bounce once and come to rest chin down on the very hard floor. (Cement with a thin carpet over it.)

At this point, time resumes its normal 1 second/second flow.

Things were rattling around inside my mouth. I quickly deduced they were what used to be some of my front teeth.
“I broke a tooth,” I said, spitting the bits out. I could see it was more than one. “Shit, my dentist will be mad.”

What I did not know at this point was I had split the bottom of my chin open and was bleeding down the front of my shirt.
I staggered across campus, through the thunderstorm, towards my on campus apartment. By the time I got there, I was covered in blood.

I unlocked my door, kicked it open, walked through and shouted “I’m home!”
My roommates and some friends turned to see me covered in blood just as the lightning flashed.
I had no idea why people screamed.

“You’re hurt!” they said, running up.
“I know,” I said. “I broke at least two teeth!”
“We’ve got to get you to the infirmary.”
“Why? They can’t fix teeth.”
“Look down.”
I looked down at my blood soaked shirt.
“Holy shit, I’ve got to go to the infirmary,” I said.
A couple of folks decided to help me get there. My brother tagged along.

I’m sure this sort of thing is not all that uncommon at a college infirmary. The nurse on duty certainly didn’t seem to think so and quickly had me sitting on an examination table holding a bandage to my chin.
I’ve never understood how (I was still quite drunk) but someone called my mother.
A phone was handed to me, and I was told she was on the other end of the line.
“Hi Mom,” I said without waiting for any questions. “We were in a car accident. I’m OK. I got drunk. I feel down. I broke my teeth.”
My mother’s conclusions:
I had been drinking and driving
Since I had not mentioned my brother, he must be dead

My mother began shouting at me. I threw the phone in the trash can.
My friend Rich fished it out and explained to my mother that both of her conclusions were false. (My mother still thinks highly of him because of this, even though I haven’t seen him since 84.)
The phone was handed to me. More yelling occurred. I threw it in the trash again.

“The campus police are going to take you to the hospital,” the nurse told me. “You’re going to need stitches.”
“I’m only 19,” I told her. “That’s not old enough to drink. They’ll arrest me!”
“No, they’ll take you to the hospital,” she said.
The two officers arrived and guided me to the police car. Again, my brother tagged along.
The entire trip consisted of me asking if they were going to arrest me and them assuring me they would not.

At the hospital I was not judged to be in need of immediate help and waited a fair bit of time to be seen. The doctor put in three stitches fairly quickly and sent be home. (The Novocain he used did not last the short time it took as I am very resistant to it. He assured me the pain wasn’t that bad, I was still drunk and it would be over soon.)

It was about 2 in the morning when I finally got to bed.

It was about 6 my brother woke me up.

“My side hurts,” he said. “It was where the other car hit me.”
“What?”
“In the car accident, the other car hit us in the door I was next to,” he said. “My side has hurt ever since the accident. Now, it’s really bad.”
“Why didn’t you say something before?” I asked.
“Too much was going on,” he said.

I called campus police to ask for another ride.
The same two officers showed up.
“After we took you to the hospital you drove?!?” they asked.
“NO!” I said.
“When was this car accident?”
“Before I even went to the party yesterday!”
They took us off to the hospital again. This time they were saying they should arrest me for putting them through all this. They didn’t.

The same nurse was at the front desk.
“You’re back?” she asked. “What happened now?”
I explained. They took my brother back to an examination room.
The nurse called me over and handed me a phone.
“It’s your mother,” she said.
Yelling occurred. No trash cans were available.
I managed to convince my brother they were going to put him in a total body cast. Sadly, the doctor was not up for it. They gave him some pills, told him to rest, and sent him home with me.
About the time we got back to my apartment, my parents pulled up.

I’d like to say that this is what made me give up drinking. But, the truth is I kept drinking for 3 more years.
This was the high water mark. And, the only time I ever had hospitals or police involved for me.

My teeth were repaired. Every time I switch dentists they try and sell me night retainers to stop the damage I must be causing by grinding at night. I explain. They agree they don’t have a product that will retroactively protect them. Too bad, I’d pay good money for that...