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There are only 17 days left in the 4th year of the 2020’s and it seems like we’ve lost a whole lot of people in that time:

My sister
At least one of my favorite cousins (another still unaccounted for)
My wife’s uncle
A good friend we used to see fairly often
An old college roommate (who’s memorial Sunday set off these thoughts)
My aunt’s husband
My uncle Jack
A college friend who sometimes guest stared with Phoenix Swords
Another Ren Faire performer who taught our folks many of their fire tricks
One of the other performers with our group

And, that is hardly an inclusive list. There are plenty of others I know of that have died. That’s only the 10 I can think of off of the top of my head.

However, as much as I liked many of those folks, none of them were folks I interacted with on a daily or weekly basis.
My sister I thought about all the time, but she hadn’t talked with me since 1994.
My cousin and wife’s uncle we saw a few times a year. I treasured those times, but they weren’t often.
Some of them I didn’t see often, sometimes for years. So, even if I liked them, they’re not being around doesn’t change my day to day life.

I’m worried about when it’s going to hit those folks that it will change my day to day life.

There aren’t all that many folks who are in that circle. I’m reasonably isolated from regular contact with a lot of folks. But, they’re still some.
And, none of us are getting younger.

Don’t get me wrong, I miss the majority of folks on that list above. (OK, I never liked my aunt’s husband, but his loss is making her deteriorate faster, and I don’t like that more than I didn’t like him…)

There’s a darker side to my thoughts on this as well.
There are 4 people on my “I’d like to dance on their grave” list.
3 of those four are close to a decade older than me, or more.

There is a part of me that asks “why have these people I like and respect been taken away when these people I would be happy to see go remain?”
Under the “only the good die young” rules these four might go on for a long, long time.

The spouse of one of them was at the memorial. I won’t say they’re triumphing at life. There doesn’t seem to be much change over the 15 years since I turned away from them. But, they’re not suffering for it either.

“Why is it the good ones that die?” Is not a new question. It’s been asked for all of recorded history and I’m sure goes back well past that.
Yet, I still ask it.

Why are the ones I liked, admired, respected and valued gone when the ones I despise are still here?

And, how long until the ones I value most are taken?