fbhjr: (Lost Bear)
fbhjr ([personal profile] fbhjr) wrote2025-06-04 08:19 pm
Entry tags:

I hate wasting time


There was a long list of things I wanted to do if I could get some time.
Restart my web comic.
Build a bunch of Lego kits I bought.
Write some stories.
Read some new sword manuals.
Get things ready for next month’s trip.
Visit some of the museums in the area where I have memberships.
Get things ready for the show we’re doing in New Jersey in 2 1/2 weeks.

It’s been 33 days I’ve been out of work, and I just sit here in my living room and stare at that stuff.
I have a total lack of motivation to start any of it.
Can’t think of anything funny to say for the comic.
All the stories I wanted to write no longer sound very interesting to me. The Lego kits aren’t exciting me. The manuals aren’t holding my attention.
Without a job I’m hesitant to plan much for the trip as I don’t know what my budget for it will be. The main part is paid for and all taken care of. I’ve still got to do the days before and day after the boat ride.
I don’t feel like going to the museums without my wife.
Since I have told the troupe I can’t pay for a hotel room for them, there isn’t too much to do. And, what there is I’m waiting for practice to go over with everyone.

I’ve done the laundry. I’ve done the dishes. I replaced the lost buttons on my wife’s dress. I did the shopping.

My brother called me again with another surreal conversation where he contradicted most of what he said yesterday. (He didn’t bring Ron when he visited my mother today, he didn’t have to work this afternoon, etc.)

I did have two calls about jobs. Both don’t seem likely to pan out.
The place I interviewed with last week asked for references, which is what they said would be the next step if they were still looking at me. So, that’s hopeful.

I feel I should do something with all this time.
But, have trouble mustering the interest for my options.
palusbuteo: (Default)

[personal profile] palusbuteo 2025-06-05 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
I know going to museums with your wife is a special thing, and I totally respect that.

But, I'm willing to be your museum buddy during a weekday

or, maybe the four of us should try to plan a night out or reading a sword manual

I'm hoping the place that had the good interview keeps the ball rolling.

I know what you mean when you say you can't really focus or have a desire to work on things when you're not working. I'm trying to urge myself to try and "schedule" most of my day with (art) projects and try to set up deadlines even if they're a bit fuzzy.
ravena_kade: (Default)

[personal profile] ravena_kade 2025-06-05 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
Being let go unexpectedly can take the wind right out of your sails. I always found that the job hunt ate my motivation to do other things.
justphoenix: (Default)

[personal profile] justphoenix 2025-06-05 01:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Agreed! I hope you're not being too hard on yourself about the lack of motivation. Not only are you dealing with the layoff, but everything with your mom, and it's a LOT.

And it's not like you're doing nothing either. You're applying for jobs and going on interviews. You're taking care of the household. You're doing sword shows and spending time with your wife. Those are all valuable and important.
brickhousewench: (pointer)

[personal profile] brickhousewench 2025-06-05 04:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Not only are you dealing with the layoff, but everything with your mom, and it's a LOT.

^ THIS
palusbuteo: (Default)

[personal profile] palusbuteo 2025-06-06 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
YUUUUP
msmidge: (Default)

[personal profile] msmidge 2025-06-05 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
I think it's normal to go through a period of non-motivation like this.

The reference check does sound promising; there's no reason to call references if they aren't interested in you.

Once you have another job, do you think there's something you'll wish you had done in your free time? If so, maybe that's the thing to try to muster the motivation for. If you want.