Succotash squadron?

[fbhjr]

At lunch today I went over to the Target store near where I work to pick up
some replacement filters for our air filter.
They have just remodeled, adding a large grocery section.  Sadly for me,
that is right where they used to keep things like air filters.*
As I wandered down the aisle trying to figure out where they had been
moved, I noticed something funny about the freezer aisles to the other side
of me.
As I passed each one, their lights flickered on and light up brightly.
Once I passed, they flickered off again.

Now some of you might be thinking “How nice that they are complying with
the new energy standards and only keep their lights on when someone is in
that section of the store.”
You go ahead and think that.

I’m going to think that the idea I’m working on an army of robot freezers
has started to make the rounds of freezers in the area.  They’re obviously
saluting me in the hopes I’ll include them in my army when the time comes.**

I’m not sure about this idea.
The idea of an army of robot freezers full of medical research material is
fine.
“Go ahead and shoot my robot freezers!” I could shout at those trying to
stop them.  “They’re full of plague vials.  Shoot them and get plague all
over yourselves! Bwahahahahah!”

It’s not the same with these freezers.
“Go ahead and shoot my robot freezers!” I could shout at those trying to
stop them.  “They’re full of frozen vegetables.  Shoot them and get peas
and corn all over yourselves! Bwahahahahah!”

But, one of my very firmly held beliefs is that nothing is useless.
It is just a matter of figuring out what would be a good use for them.
If I do it right then who knows what fear the succotash squadron will cause
in the hearts of those who stand against me?

Of course I haven’t told the freezers that the robot runs on rails.  Rails
may be the perfect way to dominate the 19th century Earth, but I have my
doubts about the 21st Century.  Now you know why those Terminators used
time travel.  Tech advantage.


*I know the ones in my filter are supposed to be wash and reuse.  And, I’ve
been doing that for the last 2 years.  But, one of these night’s I’m going
to have to get some sleep or I really will start trying to take over the
world with freezers.

** Of course I haven’t a prayer of world domination with robot freezers.
Apple already rules it with their iRuler products.  I read today that Queen
Elizabeth II just bought one.  I think mostly to show up Queen Elizabeth I
who only had a Spanish Armada, which was certainly old tech.